Tag Archives: Summertime

By TW Picht, Access Project Manager and Summertime Grinch

While mulling over a title for this posting, I sat and actually listened to the lyrics of the song with the same title you see above. Actually, the title of the song is just “Summertime, Summertime”, but no doubt had I just written that, you would have assumed this would be just another blathering blog about a chunk of time in the summer months. While I plan to touch on some of that, I couldn’t possibly just leave the title there or you wouldn’t have known what bloody song I was planning to talk about in my opening. Also, yes, I do get a sick satisfaction that this song will now probably be stuck in your head for hours to come. General reader -0-, TW -1-.

The song was written by a group named the Jamies in 1958. Long hard “A” not an “ah”. The name had nothing to do with bedtime attire; the founding members last names were Jameson. The song reached a whopping #26 on the billboard charts. Why only 26 you ask? Because the lyrics are terrible, I would reply. Simply utterly fantastically terrible. To prove my point – How many of you actually know any other lyrics besides the chorus. Unless you were a teenager in the late fifties, I would venture to say very few of you. However, I am fairly certain almost every single one of you knows the chorus. And that ladies and gentlemen is because the chorus is the the most memorable part of the song. It also helps that it’s super catchy. Hence the one and only reason it ever made it on the billboard charts in the first place. (Please note, this is speculation and in no way based on realized or researched fact – the chorus and harmonies contained therein are fun but the song stinks as a whole and I stick by my opinion.). Actual Summer time is very much the same. Summer has some awesome parts and then, well, there are the other parts.

Kansas weather has its ups and downs, so here in the summer; you have to get at it while the gettin’ is good. You only have a few short months to get out on your boat and play in the water. Yes, Chunky people like to boat and swim, don’t look so disgusted. There’s barbecuing, working in the yard, having drinks on the patio, road trips, camping, canoeing, fishing etc. There are so many great summer time activities to spend with family and friends. You could say “summer has a fantastic chorus!” Then you come to the second verse; summer is filled with the triple threat. I call them “the undesirables.”

First, there’s the never ending army of bugs. If you have more than 4 legs, have a crunchy outside and gooey inside, and ESPECIALLY if you fly, you are no friend of mine! Some bugs are just annoying like flies, ants, crickets, grasshoppers etc. However, if you sting or bite or generally give me the heebie jeebies we are going to have a fight.

Nasty Kansas Summer Bug!

And when I say fight, what I really mean is I will drop whatever is currently in my hands, throw my hands in the air and scream at the highest possible decibel while running in the opposite direction. It’s a 50/50 chance on if I will come back without confirmation that said monstrosity is dead. No, I’m not scared, well maybe scared, but I swear its only because I don’t want to die. Being allergic to stinging insects tends to send you high tailing for the hills when you hear a basso buzzing around your personal bubble. And don’t be so quick to judge, like you all haven’t shoved down a toddler in the midst of scrambling for the door as a Junebug came plummeting toward your face at Mach 3.

Second, there’s the gigantic mass of people. Everywhere you go, there are people. So many more people than you ever thought possible. There are way more people than existed in that same location just a mere two months earlier. It’s like the warm weather sparked some kind of adult scale cellular mitosis and they ALL want to be in the same restaurant or store you want to go to, at exactly the same time you want to go there. You can’t shake them, get rid of them, and short of incarceration you can’t think of a single way around it. Despite what it might seem. I don’t dislike all people. In fact, I love my people; I just don’t like other people.

Cosmo Kramer loses it!

Third and likely the most horrible and dangerous of all the Summer Undesirables, are young teenagers. Even parents of this group agree. Why do you think they drop them off in handfuls amongst the general public, followed by loud squeals of glee only overshadowed by the smell of burnt rubber and the screech of tires against hot pavement? It’s because they want to be away from them too. They are rude, loud, obnoxious, smelly, oddly dressed, and most of them have so much face shrapnel, they look like something out of a science fiction movie. I agree, it’s terrible of me to hold this stereotype but I can’t help it. On my twenty first birthday, I turned 55 inside. I am the old cranky guy on the corner spraying the neighborhood kids with a hose and yelling at them to stay off my grass, just like Cosmo Kramer in this classic Seinfeld episode (I need some “Serenity Now” when dealing with the Summer Undesirables). However, I do know some great young teenagers and some older ones too. Luckily, they don’t really fit in this stereotype, thankfully, and that’s probably why I like them. I still do whatever I can to steer clear of teenager infested areas. Someone should make one of those zombie phone apps that tracks teenagers. I would certainly visit the Google play store for some of that action.